Nuance

My friend in Transylvania speaks fluent - almost bilingual – English and we have great discussions about language. We passed a house painted a ghastly shade of pink and I said drily 'What an extraordinary colour'. Bogdan laughed, understanding completely that I was being cautiously polite while expressing my distaste. That afternoon he commented on something being 'interesting' in the same way that the house was 'extraordinary'. Romanians, he said, had the same ability as the English, the French and Italians to lay waste with compliments. The legacy of centuries of diplomacy.

Your task, then:
Come up with a sentence using the seemingly complimentary words 'extraordinary' or 'interesting' (or similar) where the context alone creates a marked difference in tone and intention.

Sensual writing for sensual readers

Ranulph Fiennes, who has a long list of bestselling books to his name (which is in its full self a long list...), told me the other day that when he started writing his agent gave him two pieces of advice on style:
- get rid of every adjective and adverb
- look back at each page when you review the day's work and make sure that somewhere you have engaged all five senses. Check that there's some reference to smell, taste, touch, as well as sight and sound.

So here's your task for the day:
- look at the three pictures above.
- pick one, and think yourself into that picture. Feel the temperature, sniff the air, put your hands out and touch, discover what you can taste, listen to what's around you, look at details, shadows, shapes.
- write 200 words describing the scene using all 5 senses. Keep it subtle. Avoid adjectives. Keep verbs active.

Laugh and learn

Glorious examples of how-not-to-do-it imagery (imagery = painting pictures with words)
* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
* McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
* Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.
* The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
* The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
* The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
* Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
* She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
* It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
* The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
* The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cash point.
* It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
* He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
* She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
* It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.